Expectancy

                A few weeks ago the message in church was about blessings. The pastor talked about raising your level of expectancy and looking forward to God’s blessings. He said that we receive exactly what we expect from God.

            I began to reevaluate my expectations. Many times I have not expected God’s blessings. I often doubt God, and question his ability to improve my circumstances. Instead of expecting God’s blessings I expect bad things to happen. I have often spoken negative things over my life. I have things like “This is just how it is.” or “It will never get better.” I wonder how much I have been limiting God’s blessings in my life, by doubting God’s abilities and not expecting his blessings.

            I have decided to change my level of expectancy. I will not speak negatively about my future or my circumstances anymore. Every morning I will thank God for his blessings and all the good things that he will bring forth in my life. I will no longer expect the negative things, but I will expect God’s blessings. I will focus on God’s promises and not my fears. In a year a plan on writing an entry about how this has changed my circumstances.

            Do you struggle with expecting negative things to happen? Have told yourself “This is just how it is.” or “it will never get better?” Do you expect God’s blessings? Do you doubt God’s ability to improve your circumstances? I want to challenge you to raise your level of expectancy. Expect God’s blessings. Read scriptures on God’s promises, so that you can know all the good things God has promised you. As mothers we need to raise our level of expectations, because our children will model us. If we expect blessings, so will our children. If we expect negative things to happen, we will instill fear in our children’s’ lives, and they will expect negative things to happen as well.

            If you have taken my challenge to change your level of expectancy, Comment on how this has improved your life. 

The Words Only I Can Hear

“You are a temple of God, and the Spirit of God dwells in you.” 1 Corinthians 3:16.

The other day I really started thinking about my voice, not the voice I use out loud, but my inner voice, the voice that only I hear.  As women, we all have an inner voice. Sometimes our inner voice, speak positive and uplifting words to our spirits. Our inner voice might say, “My hair looks cute today.” “I am good cook.” “I am a lovable person.” Other times our inner voices tell us negative words, harsh words that crush our spirit. Some of these words might be  “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not pretty.” “I’ll never be smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, good enough for God to use me.” “I wish I was more like that woman over there.”

The other day, I came across this scripture when I was reading the bible:

“Every word God from is pure. He is a shield to those who put their trust in him.” Proverbs 30:6

                I started thinking if I am a temple of God, and if his spirit dwells within me… shouldn't my inner voice reflect that? If every word from God is pure then shouldn't my words, even the words no one hears be pure as well? If the Spirit of God dwells within me then shouldn't, those words I tell myself only be words that God would say about me?

                As women, we can be so critical of ourselves. Some of things we tell ourselves are so harsh, that we would never say those things to another person. If you struggle with being critical of yourself, I want to encourage you to really think about what you think about. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says that we are to “take every thought captive and make it obedient to God.” This means that we should make our thoughts align with God’s thoughts.

                I want to encourage you think about what you are thinking about? What are some of the things you say about yourselves?  What does God say about you? The two should be the same. 

God is in control

“The mighty one, God the Lord has spoken and called the Earth from the rising of the sun to its going down.” Psalm 50:1

            I have struggled with worry my entire life. Regardless, of how hard I have tried not to worry, or told myself things were going to be okay I could not shake my worries. Once a worry crossed my mind it consumed me. I felt powerless, the minute a worry crossed my mind, I could not make it go away. I would often get awaken in the middle of the night, my mind overcome with worries, my chest so tight I could not breathe. I would lose sleep worrying over stuff I had no control of.

            Lately in my bible study, we have been talking about, how God is in control. I have always heard that “God is in control.” I always knew that, but it never really sank in. I have always been overcome with extreme worry and anxiety. I never knew why or where it came from. I started praying and asking God to show me why worry has such a hold over my life. Through prayer, I realized that the reason I worry so much is because of my desire to control everything. I try to maintain constant control of every aspect over my life, when I have little or no control over many things in my life. When I start to lose control over situations in my life, I become overcome with worry and anxiety.

                        The next time worry and anxiety tried to take hold of my life, I decided to shift my focus. When a worry came into my mind I reminded myself that I had no control over this situation and that worrying was not going to change anything. I told myself that if I had to rely on my own abilities in this situation then I would have a lot to worry about. But I reminded myself that God was the one in control of this situation. If God was the one in control of this situation then I really did not have anything to worry about, because God could definitely handle everything that worries and concerns me. After I shifted my focus to God’s abilities and gave God control over the situation, my worry left my mind immediately. This was the first time in my entire life, that I could remember a worry going away so quickly.

            It has been almost two weeks, since I have stopped trying to control my worries, and giving them over to God. Since then I have experienced a freedom that I never have had. For the first time in my life I have a weapon to fight against my worry and anxiety. The worries still try to sneak into my mind, the way they always have, but they no longer stay the way they used to. Every time a worry comes into my mind, I remind myself that God is in control, so I have nothing to worry about. The worries immediately go away. Since then, my sleep has been more restful. For almost two weeks I have not felt that tight feeling in my chest, that I had come so familiar with. I am so grateful to God that he has given me freedom from my worry and anxiety, a freedom that I never thought I would have.

            If you struggle with worry and anxiety, I encourage you to get alone with God and ask him to show you why. Is it because you are trying to control things you have no control over? If this is the case, I want to encourage you to get alone with God, and give these worries over to him. If God is in control then we do not have a reason to worry. 

Just a Dream: My Miracle from God

                I remember when I had a dream I was pregnant. An angel told me that my husband and I would have a son named Ezra.  It was probably just a dream but it provided me with hope when I needed it. I told myself if I had a son I would name him Ezra.

                At the time of this dream I was not married. I was divorced.  I had just left an abusive marriage, and I began to think that maybe I would never find love. I knew that I wanted to have children of my own, but I wondered if I would be able to. I had a miscarriage, when I was with my ex-husband, and even though the doctor told me I would more than likely be able to have kids, I still wondered if he was wrong.

                In April of 2012 I did marry the love of my life. In September we found out I was pregnant. We were so excited. At this time, I wasn’t too worried about having another miscarriage, because I did not think God would allow me to go through that again.  Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I had a miscarriage.

                I was devastated and angry at God. Many of my prayers involved me yelling at him and asking him why.  Eventually, I began to grow closer to God, in my hurt. Through this difficult time I felt God was nearer to me than he had been in the good times.

                In April of 2013, I found out I was pregnant again. While I was excited, I worried that I was going to have another miscarriage. Sadly, shortly after I found out I was pregnant I had another miscarriage. I began to think that maybe I would never be able to have children of my own.

                In July I found out I was pregnant again. I was both excited and terrified. Almost every day wondered, “Is this going to be the day that I will lose my baby?”

                Many people prayed for the safety of my baby. The love and kindness people showed me; during this trying time was a reminder of God’s love and care for me.

                I found out the baby was a boy. The doctor told me that everything looked good with my baby, but I still would need to see a high risk specialist. Having my pregnancy labeled “High risk” was scary, it was a reminder that something could go wrong at any moment. Every night I prayed that Ezra would be safe. I constantly reminded myself about my dream.

On March 17^th Ezra was born. When I saw his face for the first time I thought, “Wow, this is what a miracle looks like.”

                I am grateful for every day I get to spend with my son. He is a reminder that miracles are real. I have never forgotten any of my other babies. I know that I will meet them in heaven.
 

10 Things I learned from being a new mommy

1) I can't do it on my own. The only way I can do this mommy thing is God's help. 

2) Patience is key, lots and lots of patience

3) Everyday can be an adventure. My son is so amazed at the little things in life. I took him to the park and the coffee shop, and he soaked everything in. I need to learn to enjoy the little things I life, just like Ezra does.

4) You never stop learning. Every day I am learning more things about my being a mommy, more things about my son, and more things about life in general. 

5) Life is always better when you sing. My six month old son understands this already. I love music and I believe Ezra does too. He already sings in the backseat along to the music. He loves when I sing to him. It always brightens my day and his.

 
6) Don't be afraid to ask for advice, but don’t be afraid to do things your own way. Everyone always has advice for new moms I am learning that I know what is best for my baby. What works for someone else and her child may not work for me and my child. But I still like to get advice from the good mommas I know. 

7) Don’t stress about what the experts say. When Ezra was born, I read everything I could about parenting, and tried to follow everything I read. Then I realized I was going to drive myself crazy. It’s good to follow some of what the “experts” say sometimes, but I am learning that these so-called experts don’t always know what’s best for me or my son.

8) Don’t be afraid to be silly.  Life is too short to be too serious all the time. I love to be silly with my son. He loves it too. 

9) Take lots of pictures!
10) Enjoy every moment with your babies. Everyone says that, but this is so true. My son is 6 months already! It seems like he was just born. 

What are some things being a mommy has taught you? 

He cares about the little things

                “Look at the birds in the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them.” Matthew 6:26

Recently, I was reminded that God cares about every detail of my life. He even cares about the small things in my life.  Here are two recent instances where God reminded me that he cares about the little things in my life:

                My husband and I talked about how we wanted to get away for a couple of days, so that we could relax, spend time together, and go fishing. As we discussed possible places to go my husband said that it would be nice to go to Toledo Bend. We started saving up to go, but other things came up, and we have other things to save for, so we were not able to save the money yet. Then my husband’s parents invited us to Toledo Bend with them for the weekend. They rented a house out there and wanted us to get away to and spend some time with them. It was a great blessing! It was a relaxing weekend, and our son enjoyed all of the attention that he got over the weekend from his grandparents.

                My husband and I talked about buying a wearable baby carrier, because my little man is getting heavy. I figured it would be easier to if I had something to put him in. We wanted to buy one that was easy to put him in. I had one already, but had a hard time tying it, and my son would cry and try to get out of it. We were planning on taking money from my husband’s check to buy one, but then a man from church gave me a baby carrier. It was exactly like the one I wanted! He said that he had bought it for his sister-in-law, and she did not want it. What a blessing! What great reminders that God even cares about the small details in our lives.

                Sometimes I forget that God cares about my life. I go through struggles and I do not pray, because I do not think it’s a big enough issue to pray about, or I go to other people about the situation before praying about it.

“Your father cares about what you need before you ask him.” Matthew 6:8

“Don’t worry about anything, Instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6.

 But God cares about everything even the small things. He knows all of our needs, before we come to him. He wants us to trust him, and pray to him about all things. 

What I do.. not what I say

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

                A few weeks ago we had Ezra’s baby dedication. My husband and I dedicated our son to the Lord and purposed go raise our son in God’s ways. In other words we purposed to train our child in the way he should go. What does it mean to train your child in the way that he should go? It does mean to tell your child about God, but I believe it goes much deeper than that.

“But if anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a giant millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:6

                While it is important that I tell my son about God I think my actions are more important. Even at six months, he is always watching me. He is constantly learning and observing the world around him. He is constantly observing what mommy and daddy are doing.

If I tell Ezra one thing, but do another he will notice. So everyday I need to examine myself my intentions, my desires, my actions.
What do I desire the most out of this life? Am I following goes purpose or my own? Why am I doing the things i do? Am I putting God above all things? Am I being a hypocrite? Am I doing the things I will tell my son to do?