What God's word says about Mommyhood

                I will be meeting my baby girl November 28^th. As I am preparing for this new journey of motherhood with my second child, I decided to list scriptures about motherhood and children.

“Her children rise and call her blessed, her husband also and he praises her.” Proverbs 31:2

“I am reminded of your sincere faith. A faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Louis, and your mother Eunice, and now I am sure dwells in you” 2 Timothy 1:5   This verse demonstrates the importance of my faith. The faith that I have will be passed on to them, and their children. This is a great reminder of how important it is for me to teach them about God, and for them to see me living out my life walking in faith.

“Listen my son to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teachings. They are a garland to grace your head, and a chain to adorn your neck.” Proverbs 1:8-9. This is a reminder of how important my job as a mother is, and how my children will carry with them what I teach them all their lives.

“I will never leave you nor forsake you. So we can say confidently the Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13: 5-6. This one is a reminder that God is my helper. When I had my son two years ago, I learned that I could not do this parenting journey on my own, and I needed to rely on God to help me. The only way I can truly do this parenting thing, is on my knees, asking God to guide me.

“Train your child in the way that he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3

“He called the little child to him, and placed the young child among them. And he said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like these little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. If anyone causes one of these little ones-those who believe in me- to stumble, it would be better for them to have a huge milestone around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:2-6

“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and getting up. Time them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9. God’s word is important in my journey, as a parent. I need to read my bible and pray every day, so that I can teach my children about God and his commands. I love this scripture, because it is a picture of what it looks like to incorporate God’s word into day to day conversations with children. It is also a reminder of how important it is that my children see me living out God’s commands in my own life.

“I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” 1 Samuel 1: 27-28. This is one of my favorite verses. Hannah was heartbroken, because she was unable to have children. She went into the temple and poured her heart out to God, asking him to give her a son. After God gave her a son, Hannah praised God and dedicated Samuel to God. I can relate to Hannah. After I lost three babies in miscarriages, I was heartbroken. I cried out to God and asked him for children. When I was pregnant with my son, I was afraid of losing him, as well, but a woman knew my struggle, and told me not to be fearful, but to instead pray for my child, and speak God’s word over him. She suggested I find scriptures about children, and declare God’s promises over my child life. I did what she suggested. I found scriptures, and hung them up in my house, so I could see them every day. My favorite was 1 Samuel 1:27. I began praying for God to protect my son, and thanking him every day for giving me a child. I made the decision to dedicate my son to God, and teach him about God, and his commandments. I have the doing the same, during my pregnancy for my daughter.

What are some scriptures you hold onto about motherhood and children? Which of these verses stood out to you?

Teaching children to give and serve

On Halloween day my son began putting toys into his trick or treat bag. I told him that he didn’t have to bring any toys because he would be getting candy to put in his bag. He told me that he wanted to bring his toys to give to the other kids trick or treating. That was a proud momma moment that my kid wanted to give toys to other kids. It was also reminder how important reminder that I need to teach him how to love and give to others, so I brainstormed ways that I can teach him this. Some of these or activities that I can do with him; some of these activities are things I will do on my own, because I think the most important way to teach children is by example. If my son sees me doing something he will realize it is important.

“Train your child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

1)      Teach about sharing. This is one we working on. My son is the only child at home (not for long because I am expecting a baby in December) so we are working on learning to share toys with other children he interacts with.

“With my whole heart I seek you, let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart that I may not sin against you.” Psalm 119:10-11

2)      Spend time with God daily in bible reading and prayer. Spending time with God fills me up with his love. In this time God gives me ideas on how I can give, serve, and love others throughout the day.

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Hebrews 13:2

3)      Donate old toys and clothes. I am in the process of going through my old clothes, and Ezra’s old clothes and toys that his baby sister will not be able to use. I want to explain to him that it’s good to give these things away to someone else that may be able to use them.

4)      Look for opportunities to donate items. This is something I want to start doing monthly with my son. Some ideas I have are buying canned goods and donating them during the holidays, buying toys during Christmas time for kids who are in need, and buying hygiene items and bringing them to local shelters. I plan on taking on taking my son with me to buy these items, so that I can explain to him why we are buying these items and giving them away.

“For even the son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom to many.” Mark 10:45

5)      Serve others daily. I will pray every day and ask God who I can serve today. Then I will look for opportunities to serve others whether it is my husband, a friend or a stranger. It may be as simple as helping my husband with a task he normally does himself or letting a stranger go before me in line at the grocery store. If I do things like this my son will see how important is to give you to others by serving them. I want him to see that it’s not always about performing big gestures for others, but our small kind actions are just as important.

What are some of the things you do to teach your children about giving and loving others?

Not the garden

"If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sins and heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

The more I turn on the news, the more my heart is breaking. My heart is saddened by all of the tragedy and hate in this world. I have written this poem in response to all of the  recent tragedies that have taken place. The more of the brokenness and hate I see, the more aware I am of how much we need God. This is my prayer for God to heal our land.

Not the garden

This is not the garden you created….

A broken world where there is no peace

A world where there is no one left to trust

A world where there is more hate than love

My heart is broken

I must confess

Sometimes I am terrified

As tragedy after tragedy ensues

Terrified… because I know

Things will only continue to worsen

As hate spews into more hate

And ignorance spews into the lies that many are left believing

I turn to you for answers

But I know some things will always remain unanswered

Why so much hate when you have called us to love?

Why does tragedy tear us apart

When it should pull us together?

Technology…

Was supposed to make this world better

But has only made it worst

As we sit behind our little boxes

Typing words of hate

Words we would never say in person

Bashing and judging people we have never met

I must confess…

I’m terrified

Because I know it will only continue to worsen

You are my only sense of peace

I am terrified

But you are the only reason I do not live in fear

Reach into our land

We need you

Reach into our hearts

We need you

Heal our broken land

Shine your light inside our hearts

So that we can shine your light into this dark world

It's not always easy

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. “John 16:33

I began studying the book of Job. This book of the bible is a reminder that bad things happen to good people that being a Christian does not make you exempt from having problems. Jesus said that we would have difficult times, but that he would be our peace in those times. 

"Consider now who being blameless has ever perished. Where were the upright ever destroyed?" Job 4:7

When Job's "friend" Eliphaz spoke to him he showed him no compassion for his struggles. Instead he blamed Job and said that God must be punishing him a secret sin in his life. Sounds like a friend we would want to have when we were in the midst of trials right? I think in some ways we are a little like Eliphaz. Maybe we judge others, when we don't really know the situation. Maybe we think that if we do what God wants us to do we won't have any major problems. Maybe we complain or get angry at God when things don't go our way. 

Eliphaz thought he was helping Job, but he was just making matters worse. I think he could have learned a lot from Job. I think we could all learn a lot from Job. 

"Then the Lord said to Satan. Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on Earth like him. He is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity even though you incited me against him without reason." Job 2:3

Job did not use his struggles as an excuse to sin. He still continued to serve God when things were not going good in his life. 

"His wife said to him are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die. " Job 2:9

Poor Job! He didn't have any support or compassion from his friends or his wife. His wife told him that he should curse God and die. Even though he didn't have any support from his loved ones he still did not complain or blame God for his problems he kept his trust in God. Perhaps God was Jobs comfort when his friends and wife were not. 

“Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb? “Job 3:11

Job did not pretend to have it all together or hide his struggles. Sometimes we think that as Christians we have to have it all together. We keep our struggles inside and do not share them with anyone, but God wants us to be open about our pain. He knows how we are feeling, and he does not want us to keep it in. I used to think that as a Christian I had to act like I had it all together. Christians were supposed to get their joy from God, so if I did not want into know. Inside I was hurting because of things I dealt with in my past. Then I joined a group called Celebrate Recovery that focuses on hurts, habits, and hangups. It wasn't until I started sharing the pain inside of me, that God started healing me. 

What did you learn from Job? Do you find it hard to keep your faith in struggles? Do you feel alone in the midst of what you are going through? Remember, you are not alone. Jesus is walking besides you and he is your source of peace. Have you been hiding your pain inside? Consider sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or counselor. Open up to God about your feelings. He is there and wants to listen. 

New Year Stronger Foundation

A few years ago I found an alternative to making a New Years resolution. Instead of making resolution that I'll probably break in a couple of days,  I pick a focus word for the year. Picking one word has helped me to work on one area of my life that God would want me to work on. Words in the past have been humility and love. 

"But anyone who hears these words of mine, but does not put them into practice is like the foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose and the wind blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash." Matthew 9:26-27

My word for this year is foundation. I love the illustration in Matthew 9:24-27. I imagine two beautiful houses that appear to be built just as strong. It isn't until the storm comes that the true strength of each house is revealed. The foundation is the true strength of the house.

My goal is that Jesus would be my foundation. I want the words I read in the bible to be more than just words  but the way I live my life. 
"...But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope." Romans 5:3-4
In the parable with the foundation the storm was the indicator of the strength of the foundation. The same is true in my life. I need to be strong in my faith always. When others see me rooted in my faith, even in my trials it shows others how God has given me strength despite my trials. If Jesus is my foundation I can persevere through the rough circumstances. 

What is the foundation of your life? What would your life look like if Jesus was the foundation? What would you like your focus word to be this year? 

Complaining: A Look into the Heart

"They spoke up against God and Moses and said why have you brought us out of Egypt to die in the wildernesses? There is no bre­­­­­ad! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food. “Numbers 21:4

Once again we see the Israelites complaining. I think their complaints can give us insight into their hearts and ours as well.

 The Israelites were fearful. As I read the above complaint, I see a people who are afraid. They are afraid of where God is leading them, afraid they are going to die, and afraid they will not have enough food to eat.

I am in a season in my life where I can relate to the Israelites. I feel like God is leading me in one direction, but I am scared to go in that direction. Why? Probably the same reason the Israelites were afraid... Lack of faith.

The Israelites complained because they did not trust God. They did not trust where God was leading them. When they saw the Canaanites they   became fearful, because they did not think they were capable of defeating them. They did not believe that what God promised them would come to pass. They did not trust that God would protect them or provide for their basic needs.

Despite the fact that God had delivered them  out of slavery and continued to provide them with all of their needs, they did not trust God. As a person who struggles with obsessive worry and anxiety, I can relate to the Israelites. In my past God has delivered me from some bad situations. As I look back I can clearly see God’s protection and grace over my life, but I still have trouble trusting God in the little things. There have also been times where God has provided for me in impossible circumstances, but there are times when I worry and doubt that God will provide everything I need.

The Israelites did not really know God's character. I believe that even though the Israelites knew of God, they did not really know his character or heart.  I think that if they knew God's heart they would have trusted him and his promises. They would have known that they did not have to be afraid because God was their provider. They would have known that God cared for them and was protecting them. They would have known that they did not have to doubt God because all things are possible through him.

If you have found yourself complaining lately, I encourage you to ask God to examine your heart.  Spend some time journaling and asking God to reveal to you why you have been complaining

Do you complain because of fear? I encourage you to search the scriptures about fear and find verses you can meditate  on to stand against your fear. (My go to verse is “For God has not given me a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power and love and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Do you complain because of lack of trust in God. I encourage you to look back at the times God has been faithful in your life.

Would you like to learn more about God's character? In January I will be writing about God’s Character and studying what the bible has to say about who God is. I would like to follow along in my blog and study with me..  invite you to study with me. 

My mumbling and grumbling

“Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned from among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp.” Numbers 11:1

            I have been studying the Book of Numbers. My first insight from this book was… “Man, these people complain a lot.” God had delivered the Israelites out of slavery. He had told them he was going to lead them to a promised land. Things were going to be better there than were in Egypt. He had provided everything they needed. As I read, I wondered how could they keep complaining, when God had blessed them in so many ways…. But then I realized there are many times in my life when I am just like the Israelites.  I complain and complain and complain… then I complain some more.

“We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost. Also, the cucumbers, melons, leeks, and garlic, But now we have lost out appetites. We never see anything, but this manna.” Numbers 11: 4-5”

The people wanted what they did not have.

            They looked back and wanted to eat the food they used to. They forgot that God had their best interests at heart. They forgot that with the free leeks, cucumbers, and melons came hardships, bondage, and slavery. Like the Israelites, I sometimes focus on what I don’t have. It is so easy to look at what others have, and think that they are better off than me. Then the ifs begin… If only I had a better house, a better car, more money, lived in a better neighborhood…. Then the ifs turn to complaining about what I don’t have. This kind of complaining is dangerous, because if I focus on what I do not have I forget all that God has blessed me with.

God does not like complaining and he will not bless this kind of attitude.

“And the Lord spoke to Moses. ‘Put back the staff of Aaron before the testimony to be kept as a sign for the rebels, that you make an end to the grumbling lest they die.” Numbers 17:10.

            God shows his dislike for complaining by calling the complainers “rebels.” Webster’s dictionary defines a rebel as “a person who opposes or fights against authority or government. Reading this made me remember all of the times I have rebelled against God by complaining. Furthermore, God used the budding staff as a reminder that he does not like complaining and he will not tolerate it.

“Not one of them will see the land I promised an oath to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it.” Numbers 14:23.

            The people did not get to see the land that was promised to them because of their complaining. They missed out on the blessings God intended for them, because of their complaining and negative attitude. I wonder how many of God’s blessings I have not seen come to pass, because of my mumbling and grumbling.    

            This study of Numbers has really caused me to reevaluate my attitude and words. I am trying to eliminate the complaining and murmuring in my life by shifting my focus from what I don’t have to what I do have. One of the ways I am doing this is by teaching my son what it means to be thankful. Everyday this month my husband and I have been telling my son one thing we are thankful for. I have also been asking my son to tell me one thing he is glad God gave him, and I have been writing these answers on my son’s chalkboard. (In case you are wondering what a toddler is thankful for the answers range from God to food to spiders to maw-maw-and paw-paw to pottys and poop.) I have been realizing how blessed I am these past few days, and I look forward to hearing my son and husband’s responses .

            Are you a complainer? I encourage you to take and inventory of your words, and to work on stopping the grumbling. Consider taking the next few days to do like I did and make a list of the things you are greatful for. What are some of the things in your life that you are greatful God has blessed you with. 

My Big Mouth

“He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.” Proverbs 13: 3

                For the past few weeks I have been reading through the book of Proverbs. A reoccurring them has been the power of words, and the negative effects my big mouth has on the people in my life. The past few weeks I have been reexaming my words. I have been thinking about all of the times, I should have kept my mouth shut, but instead opened my lips wide. I began to think of the destruction that my words may have caused those I care about.  

“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14: 1.

                As I read this verse last week, I began to think about how it applies to my words. As a wife and a mother my words have the power to either build my house up or tear it down. I must continually ask myself are the words I use at home foolish or wise? Am I building up my house or am I tearing it down? My 15 month old son is a reminder of how important my words are. He is a little sponge, and he picks up every word I say. As he is learning to talk, he is learning the words I use, the tones I use, the facial expressions I use. He is observing the way I respond to him, and the way I respond to my husband. The words I speak to my husband are important. I can either build him up with words of love and encouragement or tear him down with words of criticism.

“He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly.” Proverbs 14:29.

‘’…The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.” Proverbs 19:13

                I think the times that I use my words to tear my house down the most are when I am angry. This is the time that I don’t think about my words before I say them. My words become impulsive; I say harsh things before I think. I get angry and my nagging words become a “constant drip.” When I am angry I need to remember how important it is to control my words. What are some ways I can watch my words when I am angry?

“A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Proverbs 18:19.

I must try not be easily offended.  When I get offended, I start to take everything the wrong way, I get mad at things I normally would not get mad about, and I tend to blow up. It is difficult for me to let things go, when I offended and hold on to things longer instead of forgiving them.

“A man who has knowledge spares his words and a man of understanding has a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace. When he shuts his lips he is considered perceptive.”

“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Proverbs  17:14

                Sometimes I just need to shut my mouth. I need a time out. I need time to cool off and think, before I start speaking harsh words. I need to pray and ask God how to handle the situations. Often times when I cool off, and calm down I have a different perspective and can better resolve a situation than when I am angry and in the moment.

“Pride goes before destruction a haughty spirit before a fall” Proverbs 16:18.

Sometimes I just need to humble myself. I need to lay my pride aside, and admit when I was wrong.

“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions.” Proverbs  18:2

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this Everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” James 1:19

Sometimes when I have a disagreement, I am more concerned about getting my feelings across, then listening to what the other person is saying. I get so caught up in what I next retort will be that, it is impossible for me to understand what the other person is saying. I wonder how much my interactions with others would improve if I would be more focused on understanding than being understood. I wonder how much my communication with others would improve if I would spend less time reacting and more time listening.

 “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Proverbs 18:21

I think it is important that I examine my words everyday. I should sift the words I use, especially when I am angry. I must remind myself that the words I speak to the people in my life are important. Before I speak words I should determine if they are life giving words or destructive. 

What is important?

                Luke 10:38-42

            I have read the above verses many times. I have also heard many sermons preached about Mary and Martha. I have read about how the two women had very different approaches to Jesus’s visit to their homes. In these verses Martha is frantically running around her home trying to get everything perfect for Jesus’s visit, and upset that Mary is not helping her with all the work. Mary is not concerned with all of the work her sister is trying to accomplish her only concern is spending time with Jesus, and taking in every word he says.

            I have read through these verses many times, but as I read through them the other day, I realized… I am Martha. As I read Jesus’s response to Martha, it was as if he was speaking those words directly to me.

            “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed- or indeed only one.”

            You are upset about worried and upset about many things…

            I began to think about all of the things that worry and upset me, and all of the times I have allowed those things to distract me. I began to think about all of the times I have stressed about things that do not really matter. I remembered sitting down to play with my son, and thinking to myself, “IF only he would have took a longer nap I could have gotten more things around the house done.” Instead of enjoying my time with him, I was thinking about all of the housework that I was not getting done. I thought of all the times, I have neglected God because of my to-do list, not reading my bible or praying that day, because I had more important things that I needed to get done.

            Then I realized…. I need to get my priorities straight! My house work, chores, and endless to-do lists, will always be there, but my son will grow up, and he will not always want to spend time with his mommy. I need to enjoy my times with him, and not worry so much about everything that needs to get done. I must never forget that being a mommy is the most important job I will ever have. 

            There will never be anything on my to-do list that is more important than spending time with God. God should always be my number 1 priority. I should always make time for reading my bible, praying, and worshiping God, regardless of how many things I need to get done.

            Today I make the decision to release all of my little worries and stresses over to God. He can certainly handle all of these a lot better than I can. All of my worrying and stressing has never changed anything, for the better. All it has ever done is made me worried, stressed out, and unable to face situations calmly.  With God in control of my life, there is really nothing for me to worry about, anyway. Today I have made the decision I will no longer be Martha. I will no longer waste time stressing and fretting about things that do not matter. Life is far too short for that! Today I have made the decision to be Mary. I will spend more time sitting at Jesus’s feet taking in his words. I will spend more time focusing on the important things in life, and not worry about the things that are not really important. 

Regret

There are times that I look back

In these moments I often feel regret

Because I see all the mistakes I have made

The wrong turns I took

The wrong people I trusted

The bad decisions that I made

But as I reflect on these regrets

I realize I don’t have to feel regret

All of these things that I have wasted time regretting

Have been the things that I have made me who I am today

Without the pain of my past

I would not be

This strong person

This brave person

This person who in the face of fear

Knows I don’t have to be afraid because God is with me

In the midst of my greatest pain is when I came to know God

It was only in my darkest moment

When I was able to see his light

I did not see him

But I felt his hand

Gently, guiding me through

If I would not have been where I was

I would not know God today

I would not know God’s love

I would not know that he is with me

The pain of my past

Is a reminder

Of all God has done for me

What he has delivered me from

And that he is always beside me

As I look back on my past today

I do not feel regret

I can’t change those things that once haunted me

I don’t want to

I’m not that person I once was

God has used those things

To bring me where I am today

To change me into the person I am today

And to reveal himself to me

And that is all that really matters

Expectancy

                A few weeks ago the message in church was about blessings. The pastor talked about raising your level of expectancy and looking forward to God’s blessings. He said that we receive exactly what we expect from God.

            I began to reevaluate my expectations. Many times I have not expected God’s blessings. I often doubt God, and question his ability to improve my circumstances. Instead of expecting God’s blessings I expect bad things to happen. I have often spoken negative things over my life. I have things like “This is just how it is.” or “It will never get better.” I wonder how much I have been limiting God’s blessings in my life, by doubting God’s abilities and not expecting his blessings.

            I have decided to change my level of expectancy. I will not speak negatively about my future or my circumstances anymore. Every morning I will thank God for his blessings and all the good things that he will bring forth in my life. I will no longer expect the negative things, but I will expect God’s blessings. I will focus on God’s promises and not my fears. In a year a plan on writing an entry about how this has changed my circumstances.

            Do you struggle with expecting negative things to happen? Have told yourself “This is just how it is.” or “it will never get better?” Do you expect God’s blessings? Do you doubt God’s ability to improve your circumstances? I want to challenge you to raise your level of expectancy. Expect God’s blessings. Read scriptures on God’s promises, so that you can know all the good things God has promised you. As mothers we need to raise our level of expectations, because our children will model us. If we expect blessings, so will our children. If we expect negative things to happen, we will instill fear in our children’s’ lives, and they will expect negative things to happen as well.

            If you have taken my challenge to change your level of expectancy, Comment on how this has improved your life. 

The Words Only I Can Hear

“You are a temple of God, and the Spirit of God dwells in you.” 1 Corinthians 3:16.

The other day I really started thinking about my voice, not the voice I use out loud, but my inner voice, the voice that only I hear.  As women, we all have an inner voice. Sometimes our inner voice, speak positive and uplifting words to our spirits. Our inner voice might say, “My hair looks cute today.” “I am good cook.” “I am a lovable person.” Other times our inner voices tell us negative words, harsh words that crush our spirit. Some of these words might be  “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not pretty.” “I’ll never be smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, good enough for God to use me.” “I wish I was more like that woman over there.”

The other day, I came across this scripture when I was reading the bible:

“Every word God from is pure. He is a shield to those who put their trust in him.” Proverbs 30:6

                I started thinking if I am a temple of God, and if his spirit dwells within me… shouldn't my inner voice reflect that? If every word from God is pure then shouldn't my words, even the words no one hears be pure as well? If the Spirit of God dwells within me then shouldn't, those words I tell myself only be words that God would say about me?

                As women, we can be so critical of ourselves. Some of things we tell ourselves are so harsh, that we would never say those things to another person. If you struggle with being critical of yourself, I want to encourage you to really think about what you think about. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says that we are to “take every thought captive and make it obedient to God.” This means that we should make our thoughts align with God’s thoughts.

                I want to encourage you think about what you are thinking about? What are some of the things you say about yourselves?  What does God say about you? The two should be the same. 

God is in control

“The mighty one, God the Lord has spoken and called the Earth from the rising of the sun to its going down.” Psalm 50:1

            I have struggled with worry my entire life. Regardless, of how hard I have tried not to worry, or told myself things were going to be okay I could not shake my worries. Once a worry crossed my mind it consumed me. I felt powerless, the minute a worry crossed my mind, I could not make it go away. I would often get awaken in the middle of the night, my mind overcome with worries, my chest so tight I could not breathe. I would lose sleep worrying over stuff I had no control of.

            Lately in my bible study, we have been talking about, how God is in control. I have always heard that “God is in control.” I always knew that, but it never really sank in. I have always been overcome with extreme worry and anxiety. I never knew why or where it came from. I started praying and asking God to show me why worry has such a hold over my life. Through prayer, I realized that the reason I worry so much is because of my desire to control everything. I try to maintain constant control of every aspect over my life, when I have little or no control over many things in my life. When I start to lose control over situations in my life, I become overcome with worry and anxiety.

                        The next time worry and anxiety tried to take hold of my life, I decided to shift my focus. When a worry came into my mind I reminded myself that I had no control over this situation and that worrying was not going to change anything. I told myself that if I had to rely on my own abilities in this situation then I would have a lot to worry about. But I reminded myself that God was the one in control of this situation. If God was the one in control of this situation then I really did not have anything to worry about, because God could definitely handle everything that worries and concerns me. After I shifted my focus to God’s abilities and gave God control over the situation, my worry left my mind immediately. This was the first time in my entire life, that I could remember a worry going away so quickly.

            It has been almost two weeks, since I have stopped trying to control my worries, and giving them over to God. Since then I have experienced a freedom that I never have had. For the first time in my life I have a weapon to fight against my worry and anxiety. The worries still try to sneak into my mind, the way they always have, but they no longer stay the way they used to. Every time a worry comes into my mind, I remind myself that God is in control, so I have nothing to worry about. The worries immediately go away. Since then, my sleep has been more restful. For almost two weeks I have not felt that tight feeling in my chest, that I had come so familiar with. I am so grateful to God that he has given me freedom from my worry and anxiety, a freedom that I never thought I would have.

            If you struggle with worry and anxiety, I encourage you to get alone with God and ask him to show you why. Is it because you are trying to control things you have no control over? If this is the case, I want to encourage you to get alone with God, and give these worries over to him. If God is in control then we do not have a reason to worry. 

Just a Dream: My Miracle from God

                I remember when I had a dream I was pregnant. An angel told me that my husband and I would have a son named Ezra.  It was probably just a dream but it provided me with hope when I needed it. I told myself if I had a son I would name him Ezra.

                At the time of this dream I was not married. I was divorced.  I had just left an abusive marriage, and I began to think that maybe I would never find love. I knew that I wanted to have children of my own, but I wondered if I would be able to. I had a miscarriage, when I was with my ex-husband, and even though the doctor told me I would more than likely be able to have kids, I still wondered if he was wrong.

                In April of 2012 I did marry the love of my life. In September we found out I was pregnant. We were so excited. At this time, I wasn’t too worried about having another miscarriage, because I did not think God would allow me to go through that again.  Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I had a miscarriage.

                I was devastated and angry at God. Many of my prayers involved me yelling at him and asking him why.  Eventually, I began to grow closer to God, in my hurt. Through this difficult time I felt God was nearer to me than he had been in the good times.

                In April of 2013, I found out I was pregnant again. While I was excited, I worried that I was going to have another miscarriage. Sadly, shortly after I found out I was pregnant I had another miscarriage. I began to think that maybe I would never be able to have children of my own.

                In July I found out I was pregnant again. I was both excited and terrified. Almost every day wondered, “Is this going to be the day that I will lose my baby?”

                Many people prayed for the safety of my baby. The love and kindness people showed me; during this trying time was a reminder of God’s love and care for me.

                I found out the baby was a boy. The doctor told me that everything looked good with my baby, but I still would need to see a high risk specialist. Having my pregnancy labeled “High risk” was scary, it was a reminder that something could go wrong at any moment. Every night I prayed that Ezra would be safe. I constantly reminded myself about my dream.

On March 17^th Ezra was born. When I saw his face for the first time I thought, “Wow, this is what a miracle looks like.”

                I am grateful for every day I get to spend with my son. He is a reminder that miracles are real. I have never forgotten any of my other babies. I know that I will meet them in heaven.
 

10 Things I learned from being a new mommy

1) I can't do it on my own. The only way I can do this mommy thing is God's help. 

2) Patience is key, lots and lots of patience

3) Everyday can be an adventure. My son is so amazed at the little things in life. I took him to the park and the coffee shop, and he soaked everything in. I need to learn to enjoy the little things I life, just like Ezra does.

4) You never stop learning. Every day I am learning more things about my being a mommy, more things about my son, and more things about life in general. 

5) Life is always better when you sing. My six month old son understands this already. I love music and I believe Ezra does too. He already sings in the backseat along to the music. He loves when I sing to him. It always brightens my day and his.

 
6) Don't be afraid to ask for advice, but don’t be afraid to do things your own way. Everyone always has advice for new moms I am learning that I know what is best for my baby. What works for someone else and her child may not work for me and my child. But I still like to get advice from the good mommas I know. 

7) Don’t stress about what the experts say. When Ezra was born, I read everything I could about parenting, and tried to follow everything I read. Then I realized I was going to drive myself crazy. It’s good to follow some of what the “experts” say sometimes, but I am learning that these so-called experts don’t always know what’s best for me or my son.

8) Don’t be afraid to be silly.  Life is too short to be too serious all the time. I love to be silly with my son. He loves it too. 

9) Take lots of pictures!
10) Enjoy every moment with your babies. Everyone says that, but this is so true. My son is 6 months already! It seems like he was just born. 

What are some things being a mommy has taught you? 

He cares about the little things

                “Look at the birds in the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them.” Matthew 6:26

Recently, I was reminded that God cares about every detail of my life. He even cares about the small things in my life.  Here are two recent instances where God reminded me that he cares about the little things in my life:

                My husband and I talked about how we wanted to get away for a couple of days, so that we could relax, spend time together, and go fishing. As we discussed possible places to go my husband said that it would be nice to go to Toledo Bend. We started saving up to go, but other things came up, and we have other things to save for, so we were not able to save the money yet. Then my husband’s parents invited us to Toledo Bend with them for the weekend. They rented a house out there and wanted us to get away to and spend some time with them. It was a great blessing! It was a relaxing weekend, and our son enjoyed all of the attention that he got over the weekend from his grandparents.

                My husband and I talked about buying a wearable baby carrier, because my little man is getting heavy. I figured it would be easier to if I had something to put him in. We wanted to buy one that was easy to put him in. I had one already, but had a hard time tying it, and my son would cry and try to get out of it. We were planning on taking money from my husband’s check to buy one, but then a man from church gave me a baby carrier. It was exactly like the one I wanted! He said that he had bought it for his sister-in-law, and she did not want it. What a blessing! What great reminders that God even cares about the small details in our lives.

                Sometimes I forget that God cares about my life. I go through struggles and I do not pray, because I do not think it’s a big enough issue to pray about, or I go to other people about the situation before praying about it.

“Your father cares about what you need before you ask him.” Matthew 6:8

“Don’t worry about anything, Instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6.

 But God cares about everything even the small things. He knows all of our needs, before we come to him. He wants us to trust him, and pray to him about all things. 

What I do.. not what I say

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

                A few weeks ago we had Ezra’s baby dedication. My husband and I dedicated our son to the Lord and purposed go raise our son in God’s ways. In other words we purposed to train our child in the way he should go. What does it mean to train your child in the way that he should go? It does mean to tell your child about God, but I believe it goes much deeper than that.

“But if anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a giant millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:6

                While it is important that I tell my son about God I think my actions are more important. Even at six months, he is always watching me. He is constantly learning and observing the world around him. He is constantly observing what mommy and daddy are doing.

If I tell Ezra one thing, but do another he will notice. So everyday I need to examine myself my intentions, my desires, my actions.
What do I desire the most out of this life? Am I following goes purpose or my own? Why am I doing the things i do? Am I putting God above all things? Am I being a hypocrite? Am I doing the things I will tell my son to do?

My time is fleeting

“Lord remind me how brief my time on Earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is.” Psalm 39:4

Everybody always tells me enjoy every moment with Ezra, because they grow so fast. This is so true! It seems like I just bought him home from the hospital a few days ago… How can he possibly be five months already?

            I mentioned in my last post, that sometimes I get so bogged down with all of the things I need to get done that I forget to just enjoy the time that I have with the people I love. I forget that my time with my loved ones is limited, and I am not promised tomorrow. I only have a small amount of time to hug my son and to kiss his sweet face. I only have a small amount of time to hold his hand and tell him that I love him, because when he is older he probably won’t want to be around me much, especially when he is a teenager. I only have a small amount of time to teach him about God, and to teach him right from wrong. Once he gets older his beliefs will be formed in his mind, and it will be too late to teach him these things.

            As a reminder to myself that I need to enjoy every moment with my son, and that my time with him is short, I am going to list the things I love about him. These are things that I need to enjoy while they last, because they will soon change.

1)      I love his laugh and his smile.

2)      He started pulling a blanket over and off of his face, and laughing. It’s so cute. He’s playing peek-a-boo with himself.

3)      I love how much he loves his mommy. In the morning when he sees me coming towards him he smiles.

4)      He loves to spend time with his mommy. When I play with him or read to him he smiles.

5)      I love that his favorite song is “This Little Light of Mine.” If he is crying and I play that song for him, he stops crying and starts laughing.

6)      I love watching him learn in this stage of his life. I am amazed at how much he has learned. He has learned to sit, roll over, smile, and laugh in five months. He is also trying to learn to crawl.

7)      I love getting to know his personality.

8)      I love rocking him to sleep and singing to him. Sometimes when he is tired, he falls asleep the moment I pick him up. It’s so sweet that he likes me to rock him.

            These are all things I love about my son and the stage he is in right now. What are the things you love about your children?

Do my dishes really matter?

                Last night I carefully put my sleeping son into his crib. Then I quietly tiptoed out of the room, my mind running down the list of all of the things I was going to get done. The first thing on my list was to tackle my kitchen. I would start with the dishes. The moment my hand hit the water, I heard my son begin to scream his head off. It was his “I’m extremely tired, but I need someone to rock me because I’m going to stay awake, as long as I possibly can.” cry

                Immediately I got upset. “Why can’t he just go back to sleep?” I thought. My mind raced to all chores and tasks I needed to get done. I started thinking of all the things that probably wouldn’t get done, unless I stayed up late after my son finally fell back asleep. But this would mean I would lose a few much needed hours of sleep. I knew my husband could not rock him. My son did not want my husband. He wanted me. When he is tired, he wants his momma. When my husband tries to rock Ezra to sleep, he cries and stares at me, until I pick him up.

                So, I found myself walking to my son’s crib. Of course, I was still grumbling to myself, and thinking of all the things I needed to get done, but couldn’t. When I picked up Ezra, he immediately stopped crying. Then he looked at me and smiled. Then I started to feel bad. Here I was annoyed, and he just wanted to be near me. He just wanted me to hold him.

                So, I sat with Ezra in the rocker in our living room. I began to hold him close, rock him, and sing softly to him. He smiled and snuggled close to me.

                I began to think:

                Wow, I need to change my attitude!

                My son won’t be this small forever. He won’t need me to rock him forever. When he gets older, he probably won’t think he needs me at all.  He won’t always want to be near me.

                Unfortunately, my housework will always be there. But my son will not.

                As I looked at my sweet son, his eyes now half closed half gazing at me as he snuggled close to me, I began thinking…

                This is a moment I should cherish, not grumble about. This is a precious moment. Last night I resolved to not be so task oriented. Sure things need to get done, but these things should NEVER become more important than the people in my life. When my son grows up, I do not think he will care about how clean my house was or how many things I was able to get done. He will care about the time I spent with him, all those times I was there when he cried, the times I played with him, and made him laugh.

                What are you making a priority? Are you making tasks more important than the people in your life?

To be like a child

                Yesterday I saw a cute little girl in the cry room at church. She smiled as soon as she saw me and my son. “Hi, I love your little baby,” she said.

                Her sweetness made me smile. I was reminded of what Jesus’s love for children.

                “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such of these.”

“And he said, ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3

Wow! Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven belongs to the children. He went as far to say that unless we become like children we will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Often I get so focused on the things that I can teach the children in my life. But what about the things I can learn from them? If I have to become like a child in order to enter heaven,  there must be a lot I have to learn from them. Here are some principles I have learned from the children in my life:

1.)    We must totally depend on God for our needs and trust that God will provide us with everything we need. My son trusts and loves me. He knows that I will give him everything he needs. This is how I want it. I want my son to know I love him, and I will always be there for him and take care of him. I am certain that our heavenly father wants the same thing for his children. He wants us to know that we can trust and depend on him. But how often do we worry, and question his ability to care for us?

2.)    We should delight in the Lord, and look forward to our time with him. When my son hears my voice or sees me he gets excited. He throws his hands up in the air and coos and smiles. It always makes me so happy to see his reaction to me. I am sure that our heavenly father must feel the same joy when he sees us looking forward to our time with him, or delighting in his wonders. How many times do we act and if we have something more important to do than talking to God or worshipping him? I wonder how much our life would change if we looked forward to our time with the Lord and remember why we love him.

3.)    We should keep our eyes on the Lord. When I go somewhere new with my son or someone else is holding him, he keeps his eyes on me. He has to make sure that I am there with him. I wonder how much our lives would change if we kept our eyes on our heavenly father, just as our children keep their eyes on us. What would it look like to keep our eyes on God? We wouldn’t want to go anywhere God wasn’t; we would seek him and his plan for our lives.

4.)    We should be honest with others and ourselves. I don’t know anyone who is more honest than a child. When I was in high school I babysat a little girl, while her mom was in the hospital having a baby. I spent the night at her house to watch her. When we woke up, she said, “You are very pretty, but look a lot prettier when you wear makeup…maybe you should put some on. You would look a whole lot better.” Ah, the honesty of a child. I am not suggesting that we should be so harsh with each other, but that we should start being more honest with each other and ourselves. What would our lives look like if we had the honesty of a child?

5.)    We should express our emotions. When my son is upset, he cries. When he is happy, he smiles and laughs. That sounds simple enough doesn’t it? But do we really express our feelings. How often do we smile and say “I’m doing good,” when really we are having a horrible day. We often fake a smile, when inside we are falling apart. What if we started telling others how we truly feel? The bible say, that two are better than one. We are better off when we have a friend with us to see us through our dark times. I am not saying that we should go around telling everyone our struggles, but we should have a friend we can go to when we need.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor, If either of them falls down, one can help the other up, but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

      6) We should play, imagine, and dream. The imagination of a child runs rampant. A child’s imagination is limitless. A child believes he can do anything or go anywhere. Nothing is impossible. Somewhere along the way, as adults, we lose sight of our dreams. The harsh realities of life weigh us down. We become bogged down with the responsibilities and we do not have time to play or imagine. Sure we have responsibilities that we need to take seriously, but we need to take time and enjoy life as well. Just because we are responsible does not mean that we have to leave our dreams behind, or lose hope. The bible says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12 How sick are our hearts?  Have we lost sight of our dreams? Doesn’t God want us to enjoy the life he has given us? Isn’t it possible God is the one that put the dreams in our hearts that we are so ready to let go of? How would our lives be better if we would continue to play, imagine, and dream as adults?

        7) We should stop and enjoy the beauty of life around us. Children are so in awe of their surroundings. My mom told me that once she took my cousin who was three at the time, to eat at a restaurant. When she got her food, she stopped and said “Wow, this food is so beautiful.” Children are amazed at the world around them. Somewhere along the way we lose sight of the beautiful things around us. We do not take time to appreciate beauty. Perhaps we are just too bogged down by the bad stuff in life. Maybe we tell ourselves we are too busy to appreciate the life around us. What if we spent a few minutes each day appreciating the beauty around us? How would our attitudes change if we did this?

        8) We should give to others gifts that are from our hearts. You have probably heard the expression it’s the thought that counts. No one understands that better than a child. Some of the most heartfelt and sweet gifts come from children. They give homemade cards, handpicked flowers, and drawings that have I love you written on them. They smile with deep sincerity when they give these gifts to us. What if we gave heartfelt gifts to those people in our lives that we care about?

       9) They enjoy the simple things in life.  How many times have we heard of a kid who would rather play with a box then his new expensive toy? As adults we are told that we need the best and newest of everything. We need the newest cars, clothes, phones, and technology. There is nothing wrong with having some of these things, but when did they become a necessity? Do we really need those things to make us happy?

10) We should tell the people in our lives that we love and care about them. Children are quick to tell the people they care about that they love them. With sincerity they are quick to tell others what they mean to them. Do we remember to tell the people we care about how much they mean to us? Do the people in our lives know how much we love them?

What are some of the things that you have learned from the children in your life?