Being a Mother is Tough

Being a mommy is tough! When I was waiting for the arrival of my little man, I had this image in my mind of how I thought motherhood would be. Sure, I knew that I would face difficulties as a parent, but I thought that being a mommy would come naturally and relatively easy. I had always wanted children. (At one time I wanted to have four of my own children and adopt kids that needed a family. That was before I met my husband, and before he looked at me like I had was an elephant wearing clown shoes or something, when I told him how many kids I wanted. We decided 3 was a more reasonable number of children to aim for.) The truth is my mom made being mommy look so easy. She was always there for us, and showed me the meaning of unconditional love.

            When I was pregnant, my mother said that when Ezra was born she was going to come to my house and help me with him for a few weeks. She said she could clean the house for me or watch Ezra, while I took a nap. I told her she could come, but I didn’t really think I would need that much help. Then people kept asking me if I was going to have someone to help me out after Ezra was born.  I remember thinking, “Why does everyone keep asking me that? I got this!” I thought I was going to be super mom, donning a pink cape with the letters SM stitched to my costume. I envisioned myself flying around my house, caring for a newborn with a perfectly plastered smile on my face, as I continued to prepare home cooked meals, and keep the house spotless, while my sweet angel of a baby boy napped.

            Boy was I in for a rude awakening when I came home with my son! I had given up coffee, during pregnancy. The plan was to continue to stay away from caffeine, because I was breastfeeding and I did not want my son exposed to caffeine. After the first night of barely any sleep I quickly downed a cup of coffee. I exclusively breast feed my son. I knew that this was best for my son and it couldn’t be that tough right? Wrong! Breastfeeding is painful. In the beginning my baby boy ate every hour and a half. I felt like all I was doing was feeding my son, and if I got to sleep for twenty minute increments at night I felt like I was in heaven. I quickly realized how much I truly needed caffeine.  I did not prepare home cooked meals for a while. Fast food became my new best friend, and if my house ever was clean it was because my mother had come over and helped me. (I quickly welcomed her help.)

            I soon learned that being a mother is tough. I thought that it would get easier. It some way it has. My son is now four months. I have been getting more sleep. Before being a mommy I never realized that five hours of sleep is a blessing. I am able to cook again, and my son doesn’t eat every hour and a half anymore. But my house is still not spotless, and being a mom is still tough. But I love every crazy minute of it. I love my son and wouldn’t trade my tough days with him for easier ones.

            Being a mommy taught me one thing. I can’t do it on my own. I need help. In the beginning I needed my mom’s help. I need my husband’s help, and of course I need the most help from God. I have realized that I am not Super Mom. I never will be. The only way that I will be able to do this mommy thing is if I stay on my knees, looking up to God for guidance. If being a mommy had taught me anything it is humility and how much I need God’s help in all things.